Only a Memory
by J Daydreamer
Summary: Takes place after season 4. Myka is dying, but she wants to revisit a memory before she goes...


Pete and Steve were away on an artifact retrieval when Myka approached Artie. She hesitated only briefly before pulling up a chair to sit by him, working away on the computer.

"That girl can be caretaker of the warehouse but ask her to clear her workspace and she's nowhere to be found," he grumbled aloud.

Myka grinned. She would miss Artie's grumblings, his way of showing affection.

"Perhaps it's because she's the caretaker now she has more important things to attend to," Myka gently scolded.

Artie eyed her over the rim of his glasses. "Perhaps," he conceded.

Myka smiled wider before it faded under Artie's scrutinizing stare. Rubbing the back of her neck, suddenly nervous, she spoke. "Artie, I have a favor to ask you."

"You're not going back into the field. Vanessa said it would put too much strain on you," his voice rising even as he began to rise from his chair.

"No, Artie," she spoke grasping his arm reassuringly and guiding him back down to his chair. "We've all ready had that discussion, I know. Besides, I can barely make it up a flight of stairs these days without getting winded," she tried to joke. Artie only grimaced at the attempt.

"If it's not field work you want, then what?" he asked pushing his glasses further up his nose.

"I want to use an artifact, Artie," she spoke softly, waiting for the argument she knew would follow her statement.

"Myka, no…you can't be…you can't be serious," he sputtered. "Every artifact has…"

"A downside," Myka finished for him. "I know," she smiled, but her lips quivered ever so slightly.

"Then why?"

"It's not an artifact to cure, Artie, and the downside will only affect me. It's something I want, Artie, something I…need."

Which one?" he asked, swallowing hard.

"The one Pete and Jane used to go back into her memories."

Artie sat back in his chair as realization hit him. He shook his head. "I can't let you use it, Myka. You would never wake up, you couldn't come back."

"In the words of a fellow agent, 'why would I want to come back?'"

Artie shook his head again, more adamantly. "That was different. Rebecca was…" he trailed off.

"Dying," Myka gently finished for him.

Artie sighed heavily, suddenly very tired. He removed his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose as if in pain. Perhaps he was, knowing what Myka was asking. He looked down to clean his glasses on the soft edge of his shirt, both of them knowing the action was merely to conceal unshed tears until he could fight them back.

Myka wasn't as successful as an errant tear escaped down her cheek and she hastily brushed it away before Artie could see.

After a few moments of heavy silence, Artie cleared his throat, replaced his glasses and looked at the woman before him. The woman he had come to consider something akin to a beloved daughter over the last five years. Their journey together had started out tumultuous, with rough patches along the way, but their feelings for each other were without question.

"When would you want to use the artifact?"

"As soon as possible."

Artie nodded. "I'll make you a deal, Myka. Talk to Pete first, if he gives his blessing, then you have mine as well."

Myka slipped her hand into Artie's and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you, Artie, for everything," she said, her voice laced with gratitude.

Myka left the office then, making her way down to the warehouse floor. Artie watched her go as silent tears at last were allowed to fall freely.

Myka knew telling Pete about her plan to use the artifact would be much more difficult, and she expected nothing less. He was the big brother she never had, always trying to protect her, even when there was nothing to protect her from this.

She remembered the argument they shared after she decided to end her treatment. The chemo only made her feel more ill than the cancer. With that illness, she also felt debilitated and so degraded. Worst than that, the people she loved and cared about had to see her that way. It was harder to see it through their eyes then her own, and she was tired of it, of everything. She was just so…tired. She'd rather live the rest of her days in some form of peace and normalcy, rather than in the clutches of radiation treatment and chemo.

Pete had told her she'd given up the fight, and maybe she had, but it was her fight, not his. Further treatment would only make her weaker than she all ready was and there was no absolute that it would make her better anyway. She would become a burden to her warehouse family. There was never any question that she would remain at the warehouse. Colorado Springs wasn't home to her as much as South Dakota was; and her warehouse family was more family to her than her biological family.

She was with her warehouse family now, sitting around the dinner table. Pete and Steve had returned from their mission two days ago, and Myka had yet to find the right moment to approach Pete about her plan.

The evening was a pleasant one. Dinner was always a lively event, especially when Claudia managed to make it over. It was hit or miss these days as to when the new caretaker could manage to have dinner with them, but Myka couldn't help but notice the young woman seemed to make a concentrated effort to be there more often of late, and knew it was out of some sense of loyalty to her that Claudia did come. Myka felt both guilty and grateful at the thought.

It definitely felt like old times tonight, with them all sitting around the table. Claudia and Steve bantering back and forth, Pete stealing food off of Artie's plate, Abigail laughing as Artie muttered his usual complaint, "Children, I am working with children…"

Myka smiled to herself at the sight. It felt like old times, and yet, it decidedly was not. The smile faded from her lips as she thought about who was missing from the table.

Leena was gone now, had been for nearly a year. Myka missed her terribly; they all did. She was a gentle soul, always so sweet and caring to everyone and a true friend. She was the first one to understand what Helena meant to her, Myka remembered…

_"You love her, don't you?" Leena asked even though she knew the answer._

_Myka had been back at the warehouse nearly two weeks, and had taken to spending her downtime in the B&B library where it was quiet and comforting. Sitting on the sofa before the fireplace, she was startled out of her reading by Leena's words. She gently closed her book even as a blush rose in her cheeks._

_"What?" she asked trying for distraction, even though she knew exactly whom Leena was referring to._

_She received an exaggerated eye roll in answer to her response. "HG…Helena, you're in love with her," she spoke gently._

_"Leena…I don't…" Myka was at a loss of how to respond._

_Leena looked at the woman before her closely. "I can read auras, Myka, remember? I know what your aura looks like when you're around her. You love her."_

_Myka looked away, embarrassed._

_"Are you afraid to love her because she's a woman?" Leena asked somewhat skeptical._

_"No! Of course not," Myka answered adamantly. "I mean…I've never fallen for a woman before," she admitted, "but with Helena, I just…love her," she sighed heavily._

_Leena smiled warmly. "Then what has you afraid?" she asked knowing something did scare Myka._

_"Leena, my love for Helena blinded me from her faults, from her plan to destroy the world. How can I ever trust myself again?"_

_Leena smiled brightly and grasped Myka's hands in hers. "Myka, your love for Helena made you able to see her in a way no one else has. You've always seen the good in her, even at Yellowstone. You knew there was good in her all along, even when others doubted her, you never did. It was your love for her, and hers for you, that was responsible for saving the world, for saving Helena…and you."_

Myka doesn't know much about the afterlife, no one really does, she supposes, but life at the warehouse has taught her that the world is filled with endless wonder. She likes to believe that the afterlife will only be an extension of that wonder; and if she can meet anyone on the other side, she hopes it will be Leena who greets her.

There was someone else missing from the table as well. Helena. Their time together had been so limited, a mere fraction of the time she spent with the rest of her family; a mere fraction of the time they should have been able to spend together.

Beautiful, intelligent, maddening, Helena; the impact she had on Myka was profound. Helena intrigued her from their first meeting at gunpoint; a woman out of her time, ahead of her time, consumed by grief. The woman had been both her downfall and her salvation.

Her thoughts turned to their last meeting in Wisconsin. Myka couldn't deny letting Helena go was the hardest thing she'd had to do. She knew Helena was running away, but she also knew she was no one to judge for she had done the very same thing after Yellowstone. Ironically, it was Helena who managed to get her to return where she belonged when she told her 'don't walk away from your truth.' Myka hoped in vain for a few weeks after leaving Wisconsin that Helena would come to the same conclusion and stop walking away from her own truth.

Then she had found out about the cancer and felt grateful she had let Helena go after all, to live with a family she cared about and have some semblance of happiness.

She had been dreaming of Helena of late. Some desires, more often, memories of her; but always she woke up. She didn't want to wake up anymore.

"Mykes…Mykes, where are you?" Pete waved his hands startling Myka out of her thoughts.

"Sorry, what?" she asked.

"You okay, Mykes?" he asked. "You looked like you were a million miles away."

"Yeah, I'm…I'm fine, really," she smiled weakly at him.

Pete didn't buy it. "You sure?"

Myka's smiled faltered. "Actually, there is something I want to talk to you about, Pete, if you have a minute."

The rest of the team sensing it was meant to be a private conversation between the two partners quickly cleared the table and left for the kitchen.

"What is it, Mykes?" he asked, his eyes full of concern and a hint of fear.

Myka found it difficult to meet his stare. "This is harder than I thought," she said clearing her throat that had suddenly become thick with emotion.

Pete reached his hand across the table to take hers. "Come on, Mykes, you can tell me anything, you know that. We're partners."

Myka nodded. "I know, Pete and I want you to know how much I appreciate that. You've always been there for me."

"That's what partners do, we have each others backs. So…so what is it?" he asked trying to conjure a brave face.

Myka cleared her throat once more. "I spoke with Artie a couple days ago and he said he'd give his blessing it if you did." Myka watched Pete audibly swallow as if steeling himself for the bad news he knew was coming. "I want to use an artifact."

"Like for a cure?" he asked shaking his head in confusion. "There's always a downside, but if Artie…"

"No, Pete," she spoke gently. "Not for a cure. I want to use the artifact you and your mom used to…"

Realization of Myka's words dawning on him, he pushed back his chair, rising from the table as he shouted angrily. "No! I won't let you do that, Myka!"

"Pete, please, just listen to me…" Myka tried in vain as she too rose from the table.

"No, Myka, you listen. If you would just continue with the treatment, you could get better."

"There's no guarantee, Pete," she replied softly.

"But it's possible," he argued.

"By enduring radiation and chemo that would make me even more sick? I've all ready been down that road, I can't take it anymore, Pete, and I don't want that for all of you," she tried to make him understand.

"We'd take care of you."

"I'd be a burden."

"I can't let you do this," he spoke shaking his head adamantly. "I won't let you," and before Myka could say a word, Pete stalked out.

Myka sank into her chair as she heard the front door bang shut and Pete's footsteps echoing off the porch.

Claudia entered the room seconds later with Steve close behind. The tears in Claudia's eyes were enough to alert Myka she'd heard some of what transpired.

"So, you ready for some dessert?" Claudia tried to offer.

Myka looked at the young woman who was so much like a little sister to her it took her breath away. "How much did you hear?"

"Oh, you know, hardly anything really…"

Myka laughed outright. "I don't need Steve's lie detector abilities to know you're a terrible liar, Claud."

"Something about wanting to use an artifact," Claudia admitted.

Myka opened her arms and in two strides, Claudia fell into them with a sob.

Steve crossed to the table and sat down beside them. Myka smiled at him over Claudia's head. Abigail silently entered with a tray of tea and cookies and sat beside Steve, offering Myka a smile of her own.

Myka silently held Claudia a few long moments until the young caretaker's tears finally subsided. "Are you sure, Myka?" she asked her voice hoarse.

"I'm sure, Claud."

"I spoke with Dr. Calder. She's seen cases of people recovering from a serious illness like yours because they had a strong desire to live. Don't you…I mean…we could call HG, I'm sure she'd come…"

"No, Claudia!" Myka interrupted. Quieter she spoke, "Helena has a new life now, with a family she cares about. She's healing, that's what I want for her. Promise me you won't contact her."

After a brief hesitation, Claudia nodded giving her word. "I'll just go talk to Pete then," she said rising from her knees and leaving the room.

Claudia found Pete in the backyard of the B&B gazing up at the night sky. She silently took her place beside him and cast her gaze to the heavens.

They stood in silence a few moments, watching the stars come out, one by one.

"Do you believe in heaven…or I don't know…some sort of an afterlife?"

Pete sighed heavily. "Who knows? But I know I want to believe there is something more…than nothing. Someplace or some sense where my dad and Leena are."

"Yeah, me too. Someplace or dimension or whatever where my parents are too."

"Not inter-dimensional space though, right?" Pete managed to grin.

"Don't even joke about that," Claudia lightly punched his arm.

Pete wrapped an arm around Claudia's shoulders and pulled her to him in a side hug.

"You have to let her go, Pete."

Silence in the beat of several heartbeats hung in the air. "I know, Claud, but it doesn't mean I want to."

"None of us do. Myka is the one who holds us all together, but this is what she wants now. I think it's even something she needs – you know?"

Pete nodded, wiping a sleeve across his eyes. "I know. Let's go give her our blessing then."

They found Myka still sitting at the dining table, slowly sipping a cup of tea listening to Abigail and Steve converse. Silence fell at the sight of Pete and Claudia in the doorway. Myka looked at Pete expectantly and once more the others realizing it should be a private conversation, hurriedly left the room. Myka would have laughed at the déjà vu of the action if things weren't so serious.

Pete still stood and slipped his hands into his pockets. Myka recognized a defensive stance when she saw one. "You know, when my mom and I used that artifact, I got to see my dad again."

Myka smiled softly. "I remember you telling me. You were both so excited and so…distraught."

Pete nodded. "I didn't want to leave. Mom had to pull me out of those memories. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I understand why you want to do it. I just…want to make sure…that you're sure," he looked at her pleadingly.

Myka looked down at her hands, debating within herself how much she should tell Pete about what she was feeling. She decided now was as good a time as any to tell him, to make him understand.

She rubbed the back of her neck in a gesture Pete had long understood to mean she was anxious about something.

"I know it's probably none of my business, but would I be right to assume you're going to visit your memories involving her?"

Myka looked away, her dark curls almost hiding the blush rising to her cheeks. "Pete," she tried unsuccessfully to chastise.

"Why won't you let us call her? She could…"

"No, Pete," she firmly interrupted, her green eyes meeting Pete's in a silent plea, her face turned to him so that he could see the blush that hadn't yet faded.

Myka sighed. "I dream about her, Pete." Myka suddenly looked up at the ceiling, willing the unshed tears to remain unshed. She laughed at herself and the absurdity that this conversation was actually happening.

"Dreaming of Helena is really nothing new, I've had dreams about her since the moment we met, never as often as I would like, but always there. Ever since I learned about this cancer though, I dream about the memories I have with her; but I always wake from them. I just don't want to wake up anymore."

"You do realize there isn't any kind of interaction, only observation," Pete spoke gently.

Myka nodded quickly. "I know. It will be enough."

"When then?" and the answer to this question worried him more than anything else.

Myka hesitated in her answer, worrying her lip. "As soon as possible. I still have a few loose ends to tie up…"

Pete scoffed at that. "You're Myka, you don't have any loose ends. When?" he prodded knowingly.

"The end of the week, provided there are no emergency pings to take you away. I'd like you to stay with me…that is if you're comfortable with it."

Pete felt as if his breath had been kicked out of him. She was talking about just a few days. "Are you scared?"

"A little," Myka admitted trying to smile bravely.

Pete was at her side in a heartbeat, pulling her up from her chair into a firm hug. Myka couldn't contain the sob that escaped her then. A moment passed before she felt another set of arms wrap around her, then another, and another. Her family was at her side and they supported her decision. They were letting her go.

Pete had never wished for more work, a perpetual kid at heart, he now found himself hoping beyond measure for a ping that would take him away and postpone Myka's endeavor. Of all the weeks, months and years spent working for the warehouse, this week of course, there hadn't been a single ping, not even a disturbance in the warehouse itself.

He briefly considered setting a few artifacts loose in the warehouse and see what happened, but he knew that could end badly and Myka wouldn't approve. The last thing he wanted was to upset Myka. She asked for one favor, and it was up to Pete to see that it was granted.

Friday evening came much too soon for all concerned, except Myka who had long made peace with her decision and was even looking forward to the experience. After all, she would soon be free of any pain and she would see Helena one last time.

She looked forward to so many memories of Helena, but there was one in particular she intended to visit last, just before she passed from one existence to another; the one night they had spent in each other's arms.

Steve, Abigail, Artie, Claudia and Pete all gathered around Myka's bedside as they watched Vanessa attach a heart monitor to her.

Vanessa's soft gaze met Myka's alert one. "My understanding of this artifact is that you can visit any memory, an number of memories. You have to make a conscious decision to return to the present, but as I say, you can visit any number of memories, so you will remain in a sleep-induced state as your mind relives each memory. Once your mind stops reliving memories altogether, so too will your body stop."

Myka nodded. "I understand." She grasped Vanessa's hand in hers. Speaking in a whisper so softly only the doctor could hear her, "There aren't nearly as many memories of Helena as I would like. I'll be gone before sunrise."

Vanessa nodded and gently squeezed her hand, offering support and comfort. "Sweet dreams, Myka," she spoke before pulling away.

Artie stepped forward and all too briefly offered Myka a hug before pulling away and trying to retreat.

"Artie," Myka called out. Artie looked over his shoulder but didn't turn around. "You've been like a father to me, more than my own father. I just wanted you to know that," she spoke quietly.

Artie nodded. "I'm honored to think of you as a daughter," he replied gruffly before leaving the room. Vanessa, tears in her eyes, offered Myka a reassuring smile as she too left the room to follow Artie and offer him comfort.

Abigail approached Myka and enveloped her in a warm hug. "It's been a pleasure knowing you, Myka," she whispered against her ear. "I only wish we had more time to get to know one another better."

"I'm glad you came to this family; you fit in perfectly," Myka replied. "Watch over them for me."

Abigail nodded and turned to leave the room, retreating to the kitchen. Not much of a cook, she was nonetheless determined to try a new recipe to offer some sort of comfort to her broken family.

Steve too gave Myka a hearty hug. "You're the only sane one in this bunch, what are we going to do without you?"

Myka laughed. "It's your job now to keep them together. Make sure Pete and Claudia don't get out of line and blow up the warehouse."

"I don't know, your shoes will be hard to fill."

"Try."

"I will," he promised. "Godspeed," he spoke softly before he too left the room in search of the solitude of his own room where he could meditate and reflect.

"Well, I guess that just leaves us, the three musketeers once more," Pete spoke too cheerful.

"Well, it is only fitting, right? Where one goes, the others follow," Claudia added.

"Only not this time," Myka spoke gently. "This time I have to go alone."

Claudia launched herself at Myka, Pete right behind her and the three of them tumbled backwards onto the bed, sobbing and laughing alike.

Finally after several moments, they broke apart. Myka lied down in the center of her bed and Claudia and Pete sat on the edge of the bed on both sides of her.

"We'll be right here next to you, Myka, the whole time," Pete assured her.

"Thanks, Pete, Claudia," she said grasping each of their hands in hers and both sensed she wasn't quite ready to leave yet.

Myka looked up at the ceiling, recalling a memory. "Do you remember that day five years ago, shortly after Claudia came to the warehouse and Artie had to attend a meeting with the regents? We were left alone in the warehouse for the first time and everything went wrong."

"The day I fell through the roof of the alternate B&B and couldn't find a way out?" Claudia asked.

"Yeah, that day," Myka agreed.

"How could we forget, we very nearly blew up the warehouse," Claudia spoke with a shiver.

"Oh yeah. Mrs. F's voice giving the final countdown to destruction still gives me nightmares," Pete added.

"You have to admit though, watching Pete dive out and then back in the windows of that B&B was a sight to behold," Claudia laughed.

"Hey, I had to do something," Pet whined.

"Yeah, but as usual it was Myka's keen observation skills that saved us, like they always do."

"Always," Pete agreed adamantly.

"I remember feeling so out of my depth that day, utterly terrified by all the many ways that working for the warehouse could make us end up crazy, evil or dead," Myka spoke seriously. "But I realized that day that for once in my life, I wasn't alone. You became more than a team to me, you became my family, the kind of family I never had and never knew I needed until that day."

"We needed you too, Myka, just as much," Claudia spoke.

"We still need you, Mykes," Pete added. "Please, won't you change your mind?"

Myka smiled gently through her tears, squeezing her partner's hand. "I can't, Pete. I have a really good feeling about this."

"What…you mean like a vibe?" he asked curious.

Myka smiled broadly. "Yeah, exactly like a vibe."

"It only took five years, but I finally rubbed off on you, huh?" he joked.

Myka laughed warmly. "Yeah, I guess you did."

"Well, all right. Go on then," he said letting go of her hand.

Claudia placed the artifact on the bed beside Myka so she could easily grasp hold of a bronzed shoe.

"See you on the other side," she spoke softly and with one last reassuring smile for her family, Myka closed her eyes, touched the artifact and was gone.

There was never any doubt in Myka's mind that she would revisit every memory of Helena she had, even the difficult ones. They were all a part of the woman she was, the woman she had become, the woman Myka never stopped loving.

She watched their first meeting at gunpoint, the way they stared at each other, each trying to determine the motives of the other. Her memories weren't linear. She watched as Helena's invention flung both she and Pete to the ceiling of her home in London, then she watched as Helena grabbed hold of her to lift her into the sky with her grappler gun. She still recalled the rush of adrenaline at that moment. At the time she wasn't sure if that feeling was from flying into the sky or the from Helena's tight hold around her waist.

She revisited that day at Yellowstone, the time spent in Egypt when she tried to offer Helena comfort about her daughter, then she was in her parents' bookstore, Helena telling her 'don't walk away from your truth.' That memory bled directly into their last moment together, parting ways on a driveway in Wisconsin, Helena turning away from her truth, away from Myka in a hug that lasted only seconds.

She saw every stolen glance, every light brush of hands and every longing gaze. There were quiet moments in the B&B library where they sat close enough to feel the other's body heat, and days spent cataloging artifacts in the warehouse side by side. There were car rides, airplane flights and artifact retrievals. There were meals eaten together, chess games, moments of playful banter, in depth discussions and it was all much too short.

Myka saw again the day of the chess lock when Helena saved her life. She went back to the moment in the forest where Helena told her to destroy the Janus coin and with it, her consciousness. Myka clearly remembered the way her heart dropped at the suggestion. As far as she was concerned, her world was coming to an end at that moment. In the next moment, she was staring at Helena over the tub of ice Claudia lied in trying to counteract the effects of the latest artifact interaction. Helena had created an antidote that saved Claudia's life.

Finally, Myka had revisited every memory she had of Helena, except one. She had been saving it for last, knowing the way she wanted to leave this life was in the arms of the woman she loved. Her memory took her to Russia where Helena had saved Artie's life, despite his distrust of her motives. Helena herself had fallen victim to an artifact of a plank of wood from the Titanic. It caused her to feel extreme hypothermia, much like the victims of that fateful voyage.

_The threat successfully diffused when Pete stunned their adversary with the tesla, Myka hurried over to where Artie and Helena sat huddled on the ground._

_Falling to her knees, Myka asked, "Are you both all right?"_

_"We're fine," Artie spoke. "Ms. Wells managed to come in contact with an artifact from the Titanic. She's experiencing the effects of hypothermia."_

_"I also…man…aged…to save…your life," she spoke through chattering teeth._

_"Humph. Yes, she did that as well," Artie reluctantly conceded. "Doesn't mean I trust you."_

_"Artie, she obviously needs help. What do we need to do?" Myka asked concerned._

_"There's nothing more to be done," Artie spoke. "The effects of the artifact have been reversed so she is no longer in danger of hypothermia."_

_"But she's still chilled," Myka argued as she gently took Helena into her arms, away from an obviously unsympathetic Artie._

_"Yes, an unpleasant side effect. She'll have to wait out the chills until her body temperature rises to normal on its own."_

_"That could take hours!" Myka exclaimed._

_"I fail to see how this is my problem, Agent Bering. It's the effect of an artifact. She's out of danger, the rest is biology. Since you're so concerned with her well-being, you can take charge of her for the rest of the evening. Probably better that you do anyway, seeing as you're both women. She can share your room and you can make sure she doesn't escape again."_

_Myka watched as Pete held out a hand to help Artie from the ground._

_"Pete and I will collect the rest of the artifacts before returning to the hotel. We'll all catch the first flight out tomorrow morning. Understood?"_

_Myka nodded and watched Artie and Pete go before looking down at the woman in her arms, clinging to her coat. "Do you think you can manage to walk all right?" Myka asked gently._

_"I'm freez…ing, Agent Ber…ring, not an in…invalid," she stuttered._

_"All right," Myka conceded. "We'll take it slow and easy just the same," she said gently helping lift Helena off the ground onto her feet._

_A half hour later, after a cab ride, and a stop at Helena's hotel room to gather her bag of belongings, found the two women inside Myka's hotel room. Helena hadn't been able to pull herself from Myka's side as the woman provided an extra source of heat to her chilled body._

_Feeling awkward by the close proximity of Helena at first, Myka had just come to accept it. Helena was slightly shorter than Myka and she found it easy to wrap her arm around the smaller woman to hold her close. She also found herself rather protective of Helena, and eventually her initial discomfort faded in the face of Helena's needs._

_In addition to all else Myka was feeling, Helena was soft against her and her scent, whether from perfume or shampoo, Myka wasn't sure, was pleasant to her senses. Unsure why Helena's scent should have such an effect on her, Myka made sure to write off the observations as nothing more than her keen attention to detail and firmly turned to the task at hand._

_Myka gently set Helena's bag down on the desk in the room. She moved to the furnace, trying to turn it on only to have it sputter and hesitantly shake to life. Myka frowned at the machinery. "Of course I'd get a hotel room in Russia where the furnace doesn't work properly," Myka muttered under her breath._

_Helena still hadn't let go of her, so she was at a loss as to how to proceed. Myka recalled her medical training regarding potential hypothermia victims._

_"Okay, well obviously, we have to get you warmed up."_

_"Ob..vious..ly," Helena tried to reply sarcastically, but it lost its effect through still chattering teeth._

_"Right." Myka moved them to the bedside and pulled back the covers. She gently set Helena down on the edge of the bed and heard Helena whimper at the loss of body contact._

_"It's all right," Myka soothed. "I'm just going to take off your boots," she said effortlessly sliding them off her feet. "Now your jacket," she said._

_"No!" Helena exclaimed holding onto her jacket tighter._

_"Helena, you're jacket is chilled from the weather we just came through, mine is too," she said quickly removing her own coat and kicking off her boots. "We'll have to warm you up with blankets and body heat." Myka felt warmth spread to her cheeks at the thought._

_She watched as Helena studied her face carefully, a soft smile playing on her chattering lips, that Myka knew would have been a grin if the circumstances weren't so serious. Myka rolled her eyes, whether from irritation at Helena or herself was unclear. Obviously her blush hadn't escaped Helena's notice, even in the state she was in._

_"All right, I'm going to remove your jacket and then you crawl under the covers, okay?"_

_Helena nodded, giving Myka permission to remove the leather jacket from her shoulders. She gently guided Helena under the covers and firmly tucked all the blankets from the bed around her._

_Myka watched Helena in silence a moment, hoping the blankets would be enough. Helena's complexion remained pale, her eyes beginning to droop with fatigue. Artie said she wasn't in any danger, but Myka wasn't so sure. Without another thought, Myka too slipped under the covers._

_Myka gasped in surprise as Helena clung to her instantly, trying desperately to absorb some body heat from her._

_"I apol…ogize for…my bold…ness, Myka, but giv…en the circum…stances…" Helena spoke meekly enough._

_"Of course, given the circumstances," Myka acquiesced, awkwardly wrapping her arms around the smaller woman who had basically attached herself to Myka._

_Myka couldn't help thinking how intimate the gesture was and cursed herself for feeling a blush spread from her chest to her cheeks once more. She had the sense to realize her mortification would only help Helena in this case. As Myka's body temperature rose, she could offer more comfort to Helena._

_A few moments passed in silence. "Any better?" Myka asked softly._

_"Minute…ly" Helena stuttered._

_Myka pulled the other woman even tighter to her. "You'll just have to give it time," she spoke softly._

_"Mmm…time," was all Helena replied as she burrowed deeper into Myka._

_Myka soothingly ran her hands along Helena's back, in an attempt to warm her up more efficiently and was relieved when Helena's shaking eventually subsided altogether._

_Only moments after the shaking subsided, Myka realized Helena's breathing had evened out and she was sound asleep, her head gently resting on Myka's shoulder. Myka silently observed the woman in her arms as she gently brushed away a raven lock from Helena's face. She smiled to herself; Helena looked so peaceful in sleep. Adjusting the blankets slightly to fit more securely around them both, Myka too drifted off to sleep._

The memory faded to black, much like the hotel room itself fell into darkness after the two women fell asleep, but then Myka remembered what happened next.

_"Christina! Christina!" Helena's cries instantly woke Myka from her sleep. Knowing Helena was having a nightmare, she shook the woman in her arms awake._

_"Helena! You're dreaming, wake up!" she roused her._

_Helena only awoke from one nightmare to step directly into another. The room was near total darkness. Not even the small window offered much light from a moonless night. Helena began to thrash at the covers in a panic. "What is this? Where am I?" she sobbed._

_Myka hearing the distress in Helena's voice, realized the woman was confused about her surroundings. Myka quickly found the lamp on the bedside table and turned it on. The room was flooded with light and Myka could see the tears that stained Helena's beautiful, tired, face._

_Helena blinked furiously at the sudden light, her eyes trying to adjust. "What's happened?" she asked dazed._

_Myka gently reached out to touch her arm to offer comfort. "You had a nightmare, Helena. It was about your daughter," she spoke softly. "Then, when I woke you, the room was dark…you panicked."_

_Helena nodded and quickly brushed away the escaped tears. She tried to laugh at herself, but it came out a sob instead. "It appears my years encased in bronze have not left me without its effects. I've become rather terrified of the darkness, I'm afraid," she tried to look away from Myka._

_"Of course, I should have realized," Myka tried to apologize._

_"Why should you? It's utter foolishness for a grown woman be afraid of the dark…."_

_"It's not," Myka firmly interrupted. "Especially when that woman has been left in darkness for decades."_

_Helena turned at her words to study the woman before her. Myka's clear green eyes only spoke to offer sympathy and comfort._

_Helena's dark eyes by contrast were full of desperation and fear. "Why do you make excuses for me?" Helena asked honestly curious._

_"I didn't realize I was," Myka replied. "I only speak the truth. I think you're probably the strongest person I know, to first survive the death of a child and then to be encased in darkness with nothing but your own mind for comfort for a century…it's a strength, Helena, not a weakness. Certainly not an excuse to be afraid of the dark, but a reason for it."_

_Helena didn't know what to say in reply to Myka's words, but they strangely offered her comfort and she felt herself relax._

_"Do you want to talk about it? Your nightmare, I mean," Myka clarified._

_Helena shook her head tiredly. "Not tonight."_

_Myka looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was just after three in the morning. She got up from the bed and Helena watched her as she turned on the light in the bathroom, then pulled the door halfway closed. She returned to the bed, shuffling under the covers._

_"Are you still cold?" Myka asked._

_Helena was surprised by the question, until she remembered their circumstances for sharing the bed in the first place. She hadn't been cold when she awoke, she realized, but now that she was sitting away from Myka's warmth, the cold had begun to overtake her._

_Helena silently nodded. Without words, the two women settled in next to each other, Myka pulling the covers snugly over them before wrapping her arms around Helena to offer both warmth and comfort._

_Myka switched off the lamp, the light from the bathroom now casting a line of light across their bed._

_"Goodnight, Helena."_

_"Goodnight, Myka," Helena replied and couldn't contain the small smile that formed on her lips when Myka only gathered her closer to her at the words. Soon enough, both women were sound asleep once more._

Myka watched as the memory faded to darkness as she fell into sleep. She knew the following memory would be of the next morning, she would awake to find Helena all ready showered and dressed for the day.

_The morning light began to softly stream through the window, waking Helena from her slumber. She felt Myka's arm still gently draped around her waist, as if protecting Helena as she slept. Helena smiled gently to herself at the thought. That's exactly what Myka had been trying to do for her ever since they met; protect her. Protect her from McPherson, from Artie, and then last night from the affects of the artifact._

_Very carefully, Helena removed herself from Myka's grasp. Turning to look at the woman beside her, she softly brushed back brown curls from Myka's face and softly traced her finger along her cheekbone. Myka was utterly beautiful. Watching her in silence a few moments, making certain Myka was still deeply asleep, Helena bent lower to whisper, "Myka, you are a wonderment of this new world I now find myself in." She gently placed a soft kiss on the corner of Myka's lips before removing herself from the bed and stepping inside the bathroom to freshen up._

Myka observed the memory before her, a frown forming, revealing her confusion. She didn't remember that ever happening; how could she when had been asleep? But if not her memory, then how could she see it now? The answer came as a quickening to her heart.

"_Helena_," Myka breathed.

"Hello, Myka," came a soft reply from a voice she never expected to hear again except in memory.

Myka turned to see Helena standing before her, a sad smile gracing her beautiful face.

Abigail was surprised when she heard someone knock on the front door. In all her time at the B&B, she'd never known any strangers to come calling, so she opened the door with slight trepidation.

On the porch steps stood a dark haired woman who smiled as if she was uncertain she should have knocked after all.

"Good evening, I'm sorry it's rather late, but I'm Helena Wells and I…"

"You're here for Myka, aren't you?"

Helena startled at the question, blushing, but didn't deny it.

"Yes," she replied firmly.

Any further conversation between them was left unfinished as Artie, hearing the knock at the door too, hurriedly made his way towards the two women. "HG! There's no time, if you want to see Myka, you must go to her now!"

"Artie? What's happened to Myka?" she asked her voice laced with a frantic fear.

"She's used an artifact," he stated as he tried to usher her to the stairs, Abigail and Vanessa right behind them.

"An artifact?" Helena asked clearly confused. "But for what purpose, what has happened?"

"Helena," Vanessa spoke more calmly than she felt. "Myka was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She started the treatment, but it only made her feel worse than the actual illness, so she decided to end the treatment altogether."

"No," Helena breathed. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" she asked angrily.

"She wouldn't let anyone disturb your life," Abigail spoke gently. "She felt you had made a new life for yourself and you were healing because of it."

Helena closed her eyes, willing herself to stay calm. "Myka is the only one who could ever heal me, I realize that now."

"You must hurry, Helena," Vanessa spoke. The artifact she used allows her to visit her memories. She confided to me that she only planned to visit the memories she had of you, and that they would be finished by morning, and so too, would she be…finished," Vanessa sighed.

"Where is she?"

"Upstairs, in her room," Artie spoke.

Without another word, Helena took the stairs, two at a time, until she found herself in front of Myka's room.

Helena pushed open Myka's door and entered the room. Instantly, both Pete and Claudia shot to their feet and in unison cried out, "HG!"

They both rushed to Helena, engulfing her in a hug.

"Thank god you're here, HG, now you can save Myka," Claudia spoke.

"You must be the good vibe she mentioned before she touched the artifact. You have to save her, HG," Pete added.

As much as Helena wanted to assure them that she could save Myka, she had eyes only for Myka who lied still and pale on the bed before her, much like a sleeping beauty, ready to be wakened by true love's kiss. Helena only wished a kiss could break this spell between them; she wasn't even sure how Myka felt about her after all this time. She had caused her so much pain over the years, she knew.

"Wait, how did you know to come now?" Claudia asked perplexed.

Helena smiled wanly. "I received a postcard, from Mrs. Fredric."

"Really?" Claudia asked. "How was Mrs. F able to find you? I couldn't even find you after I'd found out you left Wisconsin."

"I have long ago learned never to question that woman's abilities, suffice it to say, she did find me."

"So, what did the postcard say?" Pete asked.

Helena pulled out the slightly worn card from her jacket pocket and silently handed it to Pete.

"Not all wonder is endless, as you know better than most", signed Irene Fredric," Pete read aloud. "From this postcard with a picture of the…Eiffel Tower," he spoke skeptically, " you knew to return to the warehouse?"

"Not the warehouse," Helena corrected. "To Myka."

"I don't understand," Pete spoke again.

"Paris – where Christina was murdered," Claudia spoke understanding the meaning behind Mrs. Fredric's postcard.

"Yes," Helena sighed as she carefully walked to the edge of the bed, never taking her eyes away from Myka. "Mrs. Fredric knows me better than I realized. She knew I wouldn't return just for the warehouse alone. Myka is my endless wonder; just as my Christina once was. The note Mrs. Fredric sent me told me something wasn't right, I had to return. I just hope I'm not too late."

Hearing the commotion from across the hall, Steve bolted into the room. "What is it? Has something happened?" he asked worried.

"Jinksy, HG's here to save the day," Claudia spoke happily standing beside her friend.

"HG," Steve spoke cautiously. "You've come to save Myka?"

Helena tried to smile reassuringly. "You all have such faith in me when I'm not sure you should," she said still standing near Myka's bedside, and gazing down at the unconscious woman.

"Myka is in love with you," Steve stated.

Helena looked at him astonished. "How can you be sure?"

"The look in her eyes every time your name is mentioned. They way she refused to let any of us try contacting you after we learned of her illness. She refused to interfere with your life."

"You remember Jinksy, he's a human lie-detector," Claudia spoke. "You know what he says is the truth."

"Yes," Helena assented.

"My only question for you then, is do you love Myka?" Claudia asked.

"Yes, I love Myka," Helena spoke without hesitation.

Steve smiled broadly. "She's not lying."

"Yeah, tell us something we don't know," Pete spoke. "We all know Myka would die for you, HG, but I think she'll live for you too. You've got to touch the artifact and bring her back to us."

"I will," Helena spoke solemnly, "or die trying."

Before anyone could elaborate on her last words, Helena touched the artifact and was gone.

Myka turned sharply to find the very woman that filled her memories standing before her now, a worried expression crossing her face.

"Helena, what are you doing here?" Myka asked perplexed.

"Sharing a memory," Helena replied. "It would seem we favor the same memory in our short history together."

"Except I never knew that you…"

"Loved you even then?"

Myka looked away. "I wish I could believe that was true," she spoke softly.

"It is true, I assure you, though I wasn't aware myself how deeply my feelings were for you at the time. I only knew you were like no one I'd ever known and were therefore a true wonderment to me."

"Why are you here now?" Myka asked tiredly. "Did someone contact you and ask you to come and save me?"

"No, Myka, I was in fact slowly but surely making my way back to you. I left Nate months ago, though I still keep in contact with Adelaide. She is an exceptional young girl," Helena smiled fondly.

"Then why leave her?"

"Because as much as I adore her, you were right when you said I was chasing a ghost."

Myka looked at Helena sadly. "I regretted those words the moment I said them."

"I regretted many words while working that case with you, not least of which was telling you that I finally felt I belonged. It wasn't true. Emily Lake belonged, not Helena Wells. You knew that."

Myka brushed away a tear and cleared her throat. "So you left them?"

"Eventually. I tried to do as you said, to make them my home, but once I caught a glimpse of you again, I knew it was a losing battle. You were my home."

"Then why didn't you come back to me?" Myka asked clearly upset and confused.

Helena ran her fingers through her hair in agitation. "I was scared, Myka. I had hurt you so much all ready. I didn't want to hurt you further."

Myka laughed incredulously. "You staying away is what hurt me."

"I realize that now. It took me some time to come to that conclusion myself. I traveled from one city to the next, moving further west, ever closer to you."

"What made you decide to return now?" Myka asked.

"Oddly enough, I was in a bookstore, shuffling through the pages of one of my own novels when a postcard fell from the book onto the floor. It simply read, 'Not all wonder is endless, as you know better than most,' signed by Mrs. Fredric. I knew it was her way of giving me a gentle push back to you. That was little more than a day ago, I've been driving ever since. My timing, it seems, is rather terrible, as usual."

"Impeccable as always, I'd say," Myka spoke. "Wait, you said a bookstore?" she asked, her eyes growing wide. "What bookstore?"

Helena blushed under Myka's stare. "Bering and Sons."

"Why were you there?"

"To gather my courage, I suppose. It was our meeting in your parents' bookstore where I was able to convince you to return to the warehouse. I was just trying to take my own advice and to stop running away from my truth as well. Trying to convince myself I was worthy of you at last."

"Helena," Myka sighed. "I forgave you for Yellowstone a long time ago."

"I hadn't forgiven myself, Myka."

"You saved our lives, saved the world really, when you saved us in the other timeline from Sykes' bomb."

"I have no memory of that, only Artie's word that I actually redeemed myself. Regardless, it wasn't Yellowstone to which I was referring."

"Then what?" Myka asked, a frown worrying her features.

"Disappearing without a word after Sykes' bomb."

"The regents took you to work for them."

"I disappeared again with the astrolabe."

"Mrs. Fredric forbade you to speak to anyone, she told you to disappear."

"You always make excuses for me, darling," Helena smiled sadly.

Myka's features softened. "Not excuses, Helena, reasons, all of them valid."

Helena shook her head adamantly. "Not all of them. After I returned the astrolabe to the brotherhood then. When I became Emily Lake and met Nate and Adelaide. When I let you go in Wisconsin; have you forgiven me those transgressions as well?"

Myka swallowed hard, trying to force her tears back. She had asked herself a thousand times why Helena hadn't returned during those six months after the astrolabe had been returned. "You were healing, Helena, or at least trying to," she spoke softly.

"We both know I could never heal as Emily Lake. I was only deluding myself into thinking I could be happy there and live a normal life. We both know I'm not normal," she tried to smirk.

Myka smiled weakly at that. "I forgave you for Wisconsin too, Helena, the moment I learned I had cancer. I was at once grateful you would have that normal life away from me and the warehouse."

Helena's eyes clouded with sorrow. "And now I have something in which I need to forgive you."

Myka looked at her stunned. "What?" she breathed.

"For not telling me immediately you were ill. Nothing could have stopped me from returning to be at your side."

"I didn't want you to return for that reason, Helena," Myka spoke seriously. "I wanted you to return to us because you know we are where you belong."

Helena stepped closer to her. "I know that beyond a doubt now, you are where I belong, Myka."

Myka shook her head. "It's too late for me, Helena. I'm dying. You have to go back."

"You're not dying, Myka, you're ill, but you can get better. Dr. Calder told me you stopped your treatments, why?"

"They were making me worse."

"Sometimes we have to get worse before we can get better, you yourself taught me that when you forced me hold a gun to your head at Yellowstone. You never gave up on me and I'm not giving up on you."

"That was different, Helena, I knew you weren't evil."

"You were the only one who believed in me, Myka. You know me better than anyone else, and you know I'm not leaving without you by my side."

Myka read the determination in Helena's eyes and knew she spoke the truth.

"Please, Helena, just let me go."

"No, Myka," Helena spoke firmly as she reached out to gently cup Myka's cheek in her hand, rejoicing inside when Myka leaned into her touch. "I know you better than anyone else too, and I know how difficult it is for you to accept help from anyone, especially when you think the help you will need to fight this illness is somehow degrading to you and those helping you."

Myka looked away. "Please let me go," Myka repeated more softly.

"Never again," Helena replied. "You said something else to me when we parted that night in Wisconsin, Myka, I wonder if you remember it."

Myka turned to look at Helena once more, a question in her eyes.

"You said it was obvious I was very good at caring for someone. I care very deeply for you, Myka, more than I think you'll ever know, and I desire to care for you physically now as well. Let me take care of you, darling Myka. This," she gestured to the memory still playing before them, "is only a memory. We have our life together to live yet, our own story to write."

Helena watched as Myka worried her lip in obvious contemplation.

"Please, Myka," she spoke so softly Myka barely heard her, "please let us heal together."

A sob escaped Myka then at those words and she fell into Helena's arms, her sobs wracking her body. Helena held on tightly, her own tears falling freely.

"I love you, Myka," she whispered into her ear. "I love you so much, my darling."

Myka cried harder.

"We'll figure this out. Wells and Bering, remember?" Helena asked lightly through tears.

Myka lifted her head from Helena's shoulder just enough to look into her eyes. "It's Bering and Wells," she replied as tears still filled her eyes, but a genuine smile crossed her face.

Helena returned the smile. "Of course," is all she said before she drew Myka closer to her and touched her lips to Myka's in a passionate kiss.

When they parted breathless moments later, Helena grasped Myka's hand tightly and simply spoke, "Time to go home."

Myka nodded and together they returned from their memory.

The two women returned from the affects of the artifact as quietly as they had succumbed to it. However, their joined hands clasped tightly and smiles on both their lips, was not quiet enough to escape the diligent observation of their family. At the first flutter of eyes opening, shouts of delight emanated from Pete, Claudia and Steve who all launched themselves at the two women, embracing them in rib-shattering hugs.

The tears were as plentiful as the laughter and Artie, Vanessa and Abigail joined them a moment later, thankful for the sight before them.

"So, you're back for good, right Mykes?" Pete asked, still worried.

Myka looked to Helena who smiled at her. "I hope so, Pete," she said taking his hand with her free one, for she refused to let go of Helena.

"Of course she's back for good, Pete," Helena interjected. "We've decided that we will heal together and so we shall."

Her tone of voice left no room argument, but if there was any doubt, it was shed in the way the two women clung to each other, leaving no doubt Helena's words would come true and she and Myka would indeed heal together.

All gathered around Myka's bedside knew the journey before them would not be an easy one, but it would be well worth the struggle to see Myka and Helena, two women so deserving of love, truly happy together at long last.


End file.
